I have deleted and rewrote so many stories on this blog. I know it gets some hits, but I'm not sure if anyone outside of family actually reads it, I'm not even sure if my family reads it.
But I'm here to admit that I am a failure.
I started this years ago as my journey to get healthy, sadly today I'm as unhealthy as I have been since college.
I now carry a body weight higher than I have ever had before.
I disgust myself.
I know what I need to do to change things, I know the choices I need to make, I know what I need to do, but I keep on doing the opposite and I don't know why.
People have offered their help, but I haven't taken it. Instead I keep on doing the wrong thing and then keep on hating myself for doing the wrong thing.
I am so frustrated with myself, I'm so mad at myself.
I know I need to change, I know I have to change. For myself, for my wife, for my son, but why do I keep on making the same mistakes?
Hopefully I'll find an answer soon
